Marriage-what a gift

This fall Craig and I will celebrate 10 years of marriage. In reflecting on our wedding day, I remember what an honor and commitment we made before God and so many loved ones. Our years have flown by--ten years of marriage used to seem so far away! I was reminded of that this week as we witnessed two wonderful people pledge to love, honor, and respect each other.

But marriage is so much more than the day. It's a lifetime of relationship that will make a marriage. So often, I've found, that my attitude has been less than par toward my husband. Small things have caused pain, interruptions have happened, circumstances have accumulated and infested our relationship. But there has been much good, as well. We've grown up together, started a family, ministered together, laughed (a lot, but I wish more), cried, and stood by each other. We've grown in the depth of our relationship- a depth only Christ can provide.

It is so fun to reminisce about our first years of marriage, and although the newness of being newlyweds is no longer new, the love that I know my husband and I have for each other had not. It's only grown deeper and more firm. Praise the Lord! Watching my girls witness the wedding and their excitement for marriage was a reminder to pray for their future marriages. I pray all of our kids will marry strong believers in Jesus, who has created marriage, and who will love, honor, and respect them the way they deserve.

I LOVE my husband more every day. He is my best friend, my guide. He is such a blessing, such a gift. I love that God has kept our love for each other fresh and new.

God is good.

The Garbage Truck

Today is Garbage Day. In watching my 1 year old get so excited at the most ordinary, every day occurrence such as the garbage truck coming by our house, I am amazed at how fast this motherhood adventure is passing; my life in general is passing. It seems like just last week when my 6 year old would run to the window and be excited at seeing the truck go by. Now she's in kindergarten. My four year old would stand on her tip toes to see out the window, and she would watch the truck until she could see it no longer as it drove away around the corner. She's so independent.

In this simple thing, I am reminded of how our days are numbered. No one knows when our last will fall, only our GREAT GOD. He knows the number of hairs on our heads (Luke 12:27), he knows the span of our life, he knows how deeply we need Him. He knows what each of our days will encounter and what we will face. He knows--

Jeremiah 29:11-13 says
¹¹ For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. ¹² Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. ¹³ You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.

So, if I truly believe all that He says is true, that He knows our days, He knows our span of life, then how am I living? Am I looking for His goodness throughout the day, in simple, every ordinary things? Am I thankful and praising God for this life of abundance?

I pray that this week will give way to my heart being grateful, that praise will be on my lips (Psalms 34:1), and that everyday, ordinary, routine life will be acts of worship. Even the garbage truck.

The Joys of Toys

This week will hopefully prove to be monumental in our home. We have taken away every single one of our girls toys. Now, this is not something we are doing lightly, but have been talking about for about 3 years now. Every so often when a fight breaks out over a particular coveted toy, we ask "Do you want all of your toys to be taken away?" They knew we didn't mean business--until now.

As one daughter punched the other in the nose over a toy, and the other yelled and screamed in her face, we new we needed drastic measures. Now. As this incident unfolded, I walked into their room (I wish I could say calmly, but alas, I am a sinner, and it was done with frustration--how it would have been better with self-control--I confess this Jesus). I needed to heed the Word in

Proverbs 25:28 that says:

"Like a city whose walls are broken down is a man who lacks self-control."

Although I lacked self-control, I did ask for forgiveness and pointed out that I, too, am a sinner in need of the Grace of God. The girls are so quick to forgive---oh to be a child with that child-like faith!

So the story continues:
My husband and I began to gather each toy and put it in the hallway, as quickly and without talking. The girls looked onward with tears as they watched their favorite toys be taken from their place, and put in garbage bags and Rubbermaid boxes. We saved some of their favorite toys, but have discarded SO many! I can't believe how many toys the girls had!! We did not move that many toys here three years ago...so they had multiplied by night and over taken our lives!!

Not only was the issue about the physical fight between our kids, but the lack of thankfulness. The greed factor had crept up, and taken over my precious little girls. So, now, we are looking at the heart issue here. Greed. God's Word says this:

Ephesians 5:5

"For of this you can be sure: No immoral, impure or greedy person—such a man is an idolater—has any inheritance in the kingdom of Christ and of God."

This is our end goal in parenting: to instill in our children a life that reflects God, so they can inherit the Kingdom of Christ and of God. So they can be with Him in eternity. Greed cannot be tolerated.

But it should not be tolerated in my life as well. How often do I as a wife, mom, child of God have an ungrateful heart? A selfish heart? A greedy heart? Way more often that I would like to admit. Sometimes my relationship with God is like my kids fighting over a toy. I pull, push, do what I have to to get my way. But the difference is God is not a sinner--He does not respond to me with frustration (translation: anger).

He has never sinned, and He is always ready to give me a dose of Grace--but also lets me suffer the consequences of my sin. Because it is a choice to sin, just as it was a choice for my children to punch and yell.

Ezekiel 44:10

"The Levites who went far from me when Israel went astray and who wandered from me after their idols must bear the consequences of their sin."

I pray, Jesus, that you would take this day and allow me to be a peacemaker, a person who shows your love to others, a person who knows that there is a judgment day. Help me live in the reality that being stuck in sin is eternal separation from you and everything good. Help me to teach my children the way they should go as I live out this imperfect life in front of them. Help me choose you. Help me to be thankful for you and all you've given.

Comfort, Oh Comfort

My daughter, 6, has been visiting the school nurse probably about 3 times a week recently. The nurse called me and told me about her regular visits--she called my daughter a frequent flier--I laughed!

The circumstances usually include a substitute teacher, which she did mention when she woke up this morning. Whenever there is a sub, she visits the nurse. When she is bored, or doesn't want to be out at recess, she visits the nurse. When there is too much noise, she visits the nurse. Well, you get the picture. We talk with her about these frequent visits, tell her about the little boy who cried "Wolf," bribe her with a trip to Dairy Queen...you name it, we've tried it. But she is not one for change, and even the smallest thing such as her teacher being out for the day, sends her into worry and insecurity.

This all got me thinking about comfort. On these days where she is needing a bit more attention, the nurse is the closest person she can think of to enlist. Someone knows her by name. She feels special. She gets attention. Someone cares about her, notices her.

Much of this way of thought is not foreign to adults. If we get down to the truth, isn't this the way a lot of us feel? We all want to be known by name. We want to feel special. We would love undivided attention, someone to are about us, notice us.

Often we put our hope in things such as people, career, parenting...to find that connection, to stand out. But, the lasting most real relationship that can give us this satisfying familiarity, is a relationship with God.

He knows us by name, from before we were born.

Psalm 139: 15-16

15 My frame was not hidden from you
when I was made in the secret place.
When I was woven together in the depths of the earth,

16 your eyes saw my unformed body.
All the days ordained for me
were written in your book
before one of them came to be.

He KNOWS we are special, unique. He made us and called us good.

Genesis 1:30-31

30 And to all the beasts of the earth and all the birds of the air and all the creatures that move on the ground—everything that has the breath of life in it—I give every green plant for food." And it was so.

31 God saw all that he had made, and it was very good. And there was evening, and there was morning—the sixth day.

We are worth more than anything else he has made, and HE notices us.

Luke 12:6-8

6 Are not five sparrows sold for two pennies? Yet not one of them is forgotten by God.

7Indeed, the very hairs of your head are all numbered. Don't be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows.

8"I tell you, whoever acknowledges me before men, the Son of Man will also acknowledge him before the angels of God.

HE IS GOOD. HE IS THE ULTIMATE COMFORT.

Forgiveness at it's Root

So, for the past week I've been inside my own head a little too much.

It could be that I either prefer to be alone, in small groups of people or engaged in one-on-one conversation to any larger group gathering. It also could be that the reason I opt out of a lot of social situations is the exhaustion from my son has been waking up at night--screaming and crying (last night for an entire hour, the night before two times for the duration of 3 hours). Another possibility is that the winter this year has been endless, and I'm a bit depressed. Although today I see the sun--which has changed my entire demeanor. Also, some time connecting with a dear friend.

Whatever the reason, when I am inside my own head too much and am not consistently spending time with God things seem out of whack. Little things bother me WAY more than they should, I become selfish and prideful, and often times I have the mindset that can only stem from self-pity (no one really cares about me, sob, sob...)

At these times I feel insecure, overwhelmed, and discontent. These are NOT qualities that God gives me, but qualities with which Satan would love to trip me. Why does it seem that these same sins are constantly pounding at my life, sneaking in unexpectedly, and taking over just when there has been victory? Well, thankfully God is not finished with me, and that there are certain things that resurface if I am not daily asking Him to take them. Also, as I mentioned above, pride. As God tells us in His Word,

Proverbs 16:18
"Pride goes before destruction, a haughty spirit before a fall."

Haughty is defined as having or showing arrogant superiority to and disdain of those one views as unworthy. Having or showing excessive pride or arrogance. I am prideful--sometimes this manifests itself in the form of excessive humility (...no one wants me there, I'm not good at this...).

Sometimes it surfaces in the form of passing judgment. Sometimes it shows up in anger. And more often than I'd like to admit it is shown in the lives of my kids because they, too, are sinful and also learn from my example. They show the same qualities that I wish were not a part of my own life. Ouch. The qualities that God freely gives me display are the fruit of the Spirit found in

Galatians 5:22.

"But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. I am sinful. I am redeemed. This is defined as to save from a state of sinfulness and its consequences, to restore the honor, worth, or reputation of. The GOOD NEWS here is that Jesus knows me more that I even know myself, and loves me anyway. He gave his life for me, full well knowing that I would do these things again. But He is loving me through them even though these things grieve him, and can potentially separate me from Him. He is the definition of GRACE.

Romans 5:7-9 says:

"Very rarely will anyone die for a righteous man, though for a good man someone might possibly dare to die. But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us. Since we have now been justified by his blood, how much more shall we be saved from God's wrath through him!"

Lord, help me to live consistant to your character. Thank you for your grace!!

Crazy winter

It's the middle of winter where we live, and I am longing for spring. The outdoors is where I find sanity and peace at the same time. My kids are able to be outdoors, we can all have space that we so desperately need some days. But it's now. It's winter. I find myself asking the question...how do I enjoy the present, the day that is today?

Recently, my gracious husband gently reminded me that I have a habit of looking back and remembering only good. This is in itself good, to not dwell on past mistakes and regrets. But I also have a tendency to exaggerate the past--everything is greener and better than it actually was. This brings me to a mindset of not enjoying the present that God has for me at this moment in time. This battle with contentedness is a daily struggle that, unless combated with scripture and truth, wins the war for the day.

The verse that comes to mind is one that I remember singing in Sunday school as a young girl. Psalm "This is the day that the Lord has made; let us rejoice and be glad in it." Psalm 11:24

For me to find an attitude of gratitude in each day is key. Rejoicing in what God has for me, living my life between yesterday and tomorrow, and once in a while wearing orange sunglasses lenses to simulate vitamin D found when the sun decides to grace us with it's bright, warm self.

God's Image, Our Identity

God's Timing is good.

The teaching of this topic today was ordained by Him--I don't believe in coincidence, just divine planning.

After attending the YS conference in October my head reeled with information. I was elated to be able to teach a lesson inspired from a seminar taught by Jonalyn Fincher. Today, I finally had the chance to teach the high school students a lesson entitled "Comfortable in my Own Skin: God's Desire for our Identity and Self-Worth."

As women, we wear a lot of hats. But, we can also get caught up in the roles that we play. An exercise I had the students do was to think of all the roles that are played on a daily basis. (sister, [mom], student, [professional]...). Something God has to teach me often is that we are defined by none of these roles. They are blessings meant for us to enjoy, but first and foremost, we are children of God. Until we find our identity fully in Him, all else will pale in comparison and there will always be something missing.

Colossians 3:12 says: “Therefore, as God's chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience.”

Do you see that? God has CHOSEN us, we are HOLY and DEARLY LOVED. He's designed us for a purpose--to glorify Him with our entire life. Not in one "role"; but in every aspect of our lives.

Another analogy would be this: we all have different rooms in our houses. A bedroom, a living room, a kitchen. We do different things in those rooms: sleep, relax, eat. They are all built on a foundation, so to seek out what a foundation is made for is key. The foundation holds up the house, supports the rooms, and without it, the house would fall. So the question remains that I daily have to ask myself what is the foundation of my life built upon? Something that will fade away with time, or something solid & true?

Check out Jonalyn Fincher's blog. She is the author of a book entitled
Ruby Slippers: how the soul of a woman brings her home. I recommend this book--as always--to glean from what she's written.